【问14】 我在无忧雅思网上看到一篇写作预测题的范文，请您讲评。如有不足之处，能否予以修正？谢谢。题目和范文如下：
Certain public libraries are a waste of money, because computer technology has already replaced their function. Do you agree or disagree? (范文来源：互联网)
 
While this statement is true for most of the dot.com generation as they are easy to find relevant web articles, they do need the knowledge for goofing (internet surfing) to be able to search the information in terms of effectiveness and efficiency. However, imagine that one neither have computer skill nor IT knowledge, this statement may be too harsh for them.
The main purpose for a public library is not only borrowing books but also to serve the community’s needs, such as, book club, read hard copy of magazines and newspapers, senior’s getting together. This benefit provides by the public libraries in our society should not be underestimated.
The computer technology has no doubt at all replaced most of function, that is, we can read books from the academic database; newspapers and publishers from almost everywhere, this means that we do not need many hard copies and environment friendly for the earth. However I am not so much convinced that public libraries can replace other functions that we need other than providing information or books.
The important issue we need to recognize is that there are not many population who can use computer to serve their needs, and even may not afford to own a computer. Some of them are using the public libraries for reading the large print books; others are coming to relax for reading magazines with friends; and the others may just come for a cool spot in a hot summer.
Governments in the world are trying to improve nations’ lifestyle in every aspects, in this case, how can it be satisfactory to say that take away a public library by replacing a computer is improving our quality life.               (281 words)
 
答：原文总体上逻辑是清楚的，直接回答了题中的问题，并得出了自己的结论。结构比较清晰，而且显示了考生在一定程度上运用复杂句型的能力。然而，个别地方出现自相矛盾的错误（如原文第三段的最后一句），一些表达显得笨拙，不符合英文表达习惯，文中出现了不少用词和标点错误（如原文的一、二段等）。结论段和全文的所提出的分析联系不够紧密，似有引出新的观点之嫌，因此考生会在这几个方面失分。因此，根据现行雅思评分标准，我认为该文总分应为6-6.5分范围内。
由此可见，网上的一些所谓“标准”范文并非标准，请大家参照下面经我改写的范文对比研习。
 
While this statement is true for most of the dot-com generation as the Internet has become a useful tool for them to find relevant information effectively and efficiently, it is also a fact that public libraries are still favoured by a growing number of people, particularly the elderly.