学生习作评点：

TOPIC:

Many scientists believe that now we can study the behavior of three-year-old child to see whether they will grow up to be criminals. To what extend to you think the criminal is the production of human nature and can we stop the children to grow up to be criminals?

关于孩子从小的天性以及长大后犯罪的关系，问有没可能stop孩子的growth以阻止未来的犯罪。

THESIS:

Have you ever found that a lot of boys become criminals when they were forced out of schools? Have you ever seen that the parents’ behavior can affect their children? Have you ever felt that a benign environment is very important for children’s growth ? If you have the experience above mentioned, you may agree with my opinion that a child who will grow up to be a criminal due to the education which was given by our society especially his parents or primary school .For this reason, we can prevent the children to commit crimes by education.

第一段，该同学连续使用了三个疑问句，他的目的是想用这个方式引起考官的注意，但却忽略了雅思作文开头最重要要简单明了，另外在表达自己观点的时候出现了不少错误，如benign environment ----