以下这篇文章是由小新老师提供的例文，看了以后发现能够说明很多问题！鉴于小新只提供了例文未加点评，特此点评一下，顺此感谢小新的例文，呵呵！！！

Recent years have witnessed the tendency that companies, in order to give opportunities to new generation, tend to encourage high level employees who are older than 55 to retire. After pondering this phenomenon on many occasions, I finally reach the opinion that this trend is something worthy to be advocated and I cannot skip it. Inevitably, there are numerous reasons that count. I would like to expose a few of the most conspicuous ones as follows.
点评：第1段写的很流畅，介绍了背景，没有重复原文，并在最后1句表明了自己的观点，典型的2+1’模式，即2句过渡，最后1句表明观点的主题句，这是雅思大作文中比较典型的写法。

巧妙之处：此段运用了很多套句（红色部分）。很多学生会问套句会不会被考官评为低分？！请注意，如果我不说明，你是否能够看出第1段的几句话是套句？！也就是说，很多时候有些表达的方法比较有限，难免会有些重复，即使是套句，不要“死套”！灵活运用一下，就会发现原来套句不仅能够开发思路，也可以在适当的时候运用一下，是文章语言更优美！！！

缺点：此段的套句还是多了点，特别是最后1句表明观点的话，我个人由于作文看得比较多，所以一看便觉得很熟悉，考官看不看得出就难说了！而且需要指出的是，最后1句这种表达观点的主题句被普遍的作文老师认为是一种不错的写法。的确，这种写法是很容易掌握的，但是有位考官明确指出如果最后1句能够写的更明确（即把下文要写的理由总结一下，在这句话中表明，效果会更好！！！）

语言方面：由于大量使用了套句，所以基本上没有任何语言错误。但是who are older than 55, 可以改成who are age over 55，感觉会更好一点！！！

The point on the top of my list for my propensity is that young people, physically, are more vigorous and energetic than elder ones. That is to say, young employees are more reliable when saddled with heavy burdens, which the elder cannot withstand due to their physical condition. Confronted with the work of high density, the elderly are inclined not to catch up with the steps of the young who may accomplish their mission swiftly and adroitly.

点评：第１句话使用了一个比较高层次的套句来表明自己的分论点，是一个不错的主题句。第２句开始，由that is to say引出了supporting sentences。此段共３句话，采用了１’＋２模式，即第１句主题句，后２句支持句。这种结构一般只有高手才用，因为只写２句支持句很难达到字数要求，所以语言功底还没达到这个境界的同学可以多写几句支持句。

巧妙之处：这一段的套句用得不错，而且很好得控制了套句的“量”！很清晰地从physically来分析，the elder的不足之处，内容很明确。